Friday, Feb. 11, 2011 was a day that will be celebrated by civilizations far into the future. I expect that President Malia Obama herself will lift a glass on Feb. 11, 2061, when she unveils the time capsule installed 50 years before at the Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant. Mark your calendars now; it's gonna be a hot ticket! For legitimate, journalistic coverage of the event, look to the Newtown Pentacle. Otherwise, watch this video!
Shawn "The Puru" Shafner